by: Chad
There comes a time in every man's life when he has to stand up for himself. It can be in the form of a physical altercation protecting the ones he loves. Or, it can be a verbal altercation where he stands up for himself and what he knows is right; to a boss at work, perhaps. For me, one such moment is here. Only it's not a physical altercation to protect my family or a verbal one to protect my job. It's time to stand up to it; Mickey's Fun Wheel, or as I like to call it, "Mickey's Wheel o' Death".
I should probably set this up before I go any farther. I'm not a fan of heights. In point of fact, I'm terrified of them. I am, however, able to ride almost any roller coaster I've ever come in contact with. The only way I've been able to reconcile the two in my own mind and to others is that when I'm on a coaster, I know it's going to be over quickly. Hurtling along at 70mph in a car is a rush and it's over fairly quickly. With the "Fun Wheel" I have two very hard to overcome things going against me: it's really high, and it's really slow. There's no in and out quickly. My life is hanging (literally) in the balance for large chunks of time.
I first made the mistake of riding The Wheel several years ago while I was at The Park with my wife for an anniversary weekend. She somehow managed to talk me into riding The Wheel under the guise of it "being romantic", and with promises of smooches, no doubt. Okay, so fine, I was willing to give it a whirl. However, if it wasn't bad enough that she talked me into riding it to begin with, she then took it a step farther and somehow managed to talk me into riding a swinging car. For those uneducated, there are two different types of cars on The Wheel, swinging and non, and they do exactly what they say they do. In the non-swinging car, your car stays perfectly stationary other than it going around in a ginormous circle, suspending you over a plummetous death. The swinging cars swing back and forth, forth and back, the entire time The Wheel is carrying you around. There are literally times in its rotation where, if you were sitting in your seat (I'll get back to this in a minute), you're facing the sky and your back is facing the ground/water below. My only consolation during the entire ride was that my wife hated it quite as much as I did. I swore that day never to set foot on it again, swinging car or non. I've hurried by it whenever I see it ever since.
But I've been called out not once, not twice, but three times in recent memory about my fear of The Wheel. First, over the summer a group of friends went to The Park and took Mark with them. Mark, of course, wasted no time at all in telling me that he not only rode the forsaken thing, but rode a swinging car and spent most of the time "surfing" inside it. Apparently they all had a good laugh at my expense about the whole thing. I could've slapped him senseless. Then, about a month ago, Al & Joyce from Tales From The Mouse House called me out on their podcast(!) about my fear of The Wheel. Don't believe me? Check out this podcast and start listening around the 1 hour 11 minute mark. For the record, though, I didn't cry. The part about me hunkering down in the floor is quite true, however. The straw that broke the camel's back though, came last week and it came from a place I least expected it; my own flesh and blood. I've spent the last few years doing everything in my power to teach my children about the evils of The Wheel and how riding it meant certain annihilation, and I thought I had them convinced. But last week my oldest, Michael, went to The Parks for a birthday weekend with a friend and loe and behold, what do I get in my text inbox? A picture of the little brute in The Wheel with all of his friends.
Well, that just tears it. I can't take this abuse anymore. I'm coming for you. You hear me Wheel?! I'm coming for you, and I'm coming for you tonight!* I hope you're ready, because I'm sure not. Hold me...
There comes a time in every man's life when he has to stand up for himself. It can be in the form of a physical altercation protecting the ones he loves. Or, it can be a verbal altercation where he stands up for himself and what he knows is right; to a boss at work, perhaps. For me, one such moment is here. Only it's not a physical altercation to protect my family or a verbal one to protect my job. It's time to stand up to it; Mickey's Fun Wheel, or as I like to call it, "Mickey's Wheel o' Death".
I should probably set this up before I go any farther. I'm not a fan of heights. In point of fact, I'm terrified of them. I am, however, able to ride almost any roller coaster I've ever come in contact with. The only way I've been able to reconcile the two in my own mind and to others is that when I'm on a coaster, I know it's going to be over quickly. Hurtling along at 70mph in a car is a rush and it's over fairly quickly. With the "Fun Wheel" I have two very hard to overcome things going against me: it's really high, and it's really slow. There's no in and out quickly. My life is hanging (literally) in the balance for large chunks of time.
I first made the mistake of riding The Wheel several years ago while I was at The Park with my wife for an anniversary weekend. She somehow managed to talk me into riding The Wheel under the guise of it "being romantic", and with promises of smooches, no doubt. Okay, so fine, I was willing to give it a whirl. However, if it wasn't bad enough that she talked me into riding it to begin with, she then took it a step farther and somehow managed to talk me into riding a swinging car. For those uneducated, there are two different types of cars on The Wheel, swinging and non, and they do exactly what they say they do. In the non-swinging car, your car stays perfectly stationary other than it going around in a ginormous circle, suspending you over a plummetous death. The swinging cars swing back and forth, forth and back, the entire time The Wheel is carrying you around. There are literally times in its rotation where, if you were sitting in your seat (I'll get back to this in a minute), you're facing the sky and your back is facing the ground/water below. My only consolation during the entire ride was that my wife hated it quite as much as I did. I swore that day never to set foot on it again, swinging car or non. I've hurried by it whenever I see it ever since.
But I've been called out not once, not twice, but three times in recent memory about my fear of The Wheel. First, over the summer a group of friends went to The Park and took Mark with them. Mark, of course, wasted no time at all in telling me that he not only rode the forsaken thing, but rode a swinging car and spent most of the time "surfing" inside it. Apparently they all had a good laugh at my expense about the whole thing. I could've slapped him senseless. Then, about a month ago, Al & Joyce from Tales From The Mouse House called me out on their podcast(!) about my fear of The Wheel. Don't believe me? Check out this podcast and start listening around the 1 hour 11 minute mark. For the record, though, I didn't cry. The part about me hunkering down in the floor is quite true, however. The straw that broke the camel's back though, came last week and it came from a place I least expected it; my own flesh and blood. I've spent the last few years doing everything in my power to teach my children about the evils of The Wheel and how riding it meant certain annihilation, and I thought I had them convinced. But last week my oldest, Michael, went to The Parks for a birthday weekend with a friend and loe and behold, what do I get in my text inbox? A picture of the little brute in The Wheel with all of his friends.
Well, that just tears it. I can't take this abuse anymore. I'm coming for you. You hear me Wheel?! I'm coming for you, and I'm coming for you tonight!* I hope you're ready, because I'm sure not. Hold me...
 |
| The Wheel looms in the distance... taunting me... |
7 comments:
I feel your pain :) I "tricked" my friend Kim into riding it this summer, and from then on she also refers to it as Mickey's Death Wheel. If you want to hear our story, let me know, it was pretty traumatic too! Good luck facing your fear!
LOL.
Oh no, Chad... not the Wheel o' Death!?!?!! I'll pray for you my friend. Good luck!
I hope Mark and Stephanie ready to take over running this website if you don't make it?! ;)
Man, I hate that stupid ride, it scares the crap out of me. Jen says we should ride together and conquer it.
Don't feel too bad. I've been on it twice and that's more than enough for me. There's no way I'd step foot in the swinging one though. Good luck!
Feel free to share any stories you have, Nicole. :) We're always up for a good Mickey story. ;)
@Amy: LOL! As you know now, it didn't happen. We'll see what magic we can come up with on Sunday. ;)
LOL! Jason, I hear ya, man. The nightmare has been postponed for me, though.
Gonna have to get it another time. I have World of Color to "thank". :)
Jen - I've been told that I have another swinging one in my future...
Guess we'll just have to see. ;)
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